Wader woes

Waders can be a wonderful thing. To some, they’re key to a good day of hunting and fishing. For others, they complete an award-winning costume (meet your director, new Unis!). And for those of us who insist on centering our Ph.D.s around marsh-breeding species, waders are one of the best inventions ever. Field sites would be impenetrable without a pair of waterproof hip waders to get us through the day. Only while wearing them can we brave the mud, the floating vegetation mats, and those horrible muskrat-made potholes to collect our precious data.

But sometimes, even the pluckiest of waders is defeated by the elements. When the first sound you hear after exiting your car is not the sweet song of sparrows or the burry croak of blackbirds, but rather the steady WHOOSH of water exhaled by drainpipes, you know it will not be a good day for waders. Your waders know this, too. You buckle them on and imagine them peering up at you, asking uncertainly, “Do I matter anymore?”

Turns out, sometimes the answer is a big fat NOPE. Three days of rain and you might as well be wearing pajamas in the field.

Now you hear your waders yelling, “It’s a marsh!  It has no drainage!  It’s duckweed soup!” But you have nests to check and birds to catch, and so you lumber in anyway, and despite your best efforts to hike up your outrageously high-waisted pants, you soon feel the shock of cold water running down your legs and pooling around your feet and the weight of it all pulling your waders lower and lower until equilibrium is reached and marsh muck gleefully sloshes around both sides of the fabric and your lower half becomes one with the marsh. You’ve officially topped your waders. It’s 7 in the morning.

Elephantiasis? Triple-jointedness? Simultaneous bow-legs and knock-knees?

Nah, just several pounds of water and all the interesting things floating inside it. Which we have been lugging around with us for the entire day.

One little-known benefit of wading in high water is that your clothes receive a dye job! Check out that hipster fringe on this mass-marketed shirt. It’s gone from plain white to dull gray AND taupe. Who says a three-dollar tee has to be boring?

To be fair, flooded waders are not so bad when the weather is nice. By afternoon, the water has usually warmed up enough that heading back to the road is no big deal. Your pants have been soaked for hours, right? (This is a poor way to get yourself out of a dry car at dawn.)

Note: You can see a few more photos here of what I’m actually doing in the marsh. Hope everyone’s summers have been going well!

—Irene L.